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I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Why can`t Mosquitos suck Fat instead of Blood!
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
My roommate is going on a date tonight.. He said he`s convinced she IS coming home with him.. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters.. Now we wait..
Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
Everyone wants their kid to learn to walk until exactly 30 seconds after their kid learns to walk.