Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
The batteries in my electric toothbrush died before I finished. I`ve never sympathized more with women in my life.
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Thank you for showing me your Facebook wedding album. Now if you have time, here is a slideshow of my top 36 scores in Mario Kart
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
Iām always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"