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Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Nothing says “friend zone” quite like a woman saying “you’re like a brother to me.” Unless you’re from Alabama.
Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don`t want to see flying at my face.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.