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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Another beautiful morning I wish I was sleeping through.
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
I don`t run away from my problems. That`s immature. I ignore them.
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."