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If I like you, I’ll let you hold the TV remote when we watch TV. If I love you, I won’t take the batteries out of it beforehand.
I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
It`s almost Valentines Day and I still don`t know what to get myself yet.
I have Beer.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
I could be a morning person....if morning happened around noon.
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.