Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
If you’re getting dirty looks because your baby is crying loudly on a plane, start crying even louder and everyone will avoid eye contact
I had cheese, but no crackers ... I was cracka-lackin
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
“I’m not washing it, I’m just gonna shove it in a pony.” If you’re a girl, that sentence is actually ok.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
hilarious
?"Cheating" is such a strong word. I rather call it "talent scouting".
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"