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You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
I hope someone drives slightly slower in front of you on a crowded highway and you can’t pass.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?