Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
If you really want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with "I shouldn`t be telling you this but ..."
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
Just once I`d like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
That awkward moment when you remember something funny, and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.