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My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
?-- that guy is cute ?
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like β€œyou idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!”
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
When people tell me β€œYou’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.