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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.