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So tell me, does it hurt to be so full of sh!t?
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
You`re probably wondering how I post so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect.
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I broke up with my gym, we were just not working out.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!