Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
I once bought shoes in China that said "made around the corner"
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
Nothing embarrasses a psychic more that throwing them a surprise party.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?