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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
Honk if you are reading this.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
Remember, time is more powerful than You!!! One tree makes a million matchsticks......But when the time comes........Only 1 match stick is needed to burn a million trees......
I can’t tell if I’m hungry, but better eat just in case.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.