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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon.
Once again I`ve woken up without super powers. Sigh
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.