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Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
The only exercise I`ve done this month is running out of money
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.
When I die, I’d like someone to keep updating my Facebook status, just to freak people out… “Hey, who knew they had Wi-Fi up here?”