Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
only fights if pillows are present.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
I don`t like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really? You think someone else might want one?
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
What do the letters DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn`t dilute in the shower.
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops