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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
I`m sorry if I come across as crude, outspoken, and opinionated. That`s only because I am crude, outspoken, and opinionated.
More people should be at a loss for words.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I`m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that`s cheating?
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.