Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
I`m not feeling myself today ... would you do it for me?
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.
I always write `wake up` on my to-do-list so I can at least accomplish one thing a day