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Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
I`ll never forget what my dad said when I gave him the picture I drew and asked him to put on the refrigerator: "Wtf Dude, you`re 23."
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I got in the shower with my slippers still on this morning. Is this the start of dementia or the continuum of stupidity I wonder?
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
I don’t care if we don’t talk, your existence still pisses me off.
Whenever i see a facebook page Celebrate; "We have reached 200K fans". I just ask myself, do they know how many of those 200K died or left facebook or can`t remember their password after they liked the page?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but this is just gardening facts.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Why is it when I flush the toilet in the middle of the night, I have a feeling I woke up the entire neighbourhood?
My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.