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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
Turns out people who say they love hot sauce on anything are liars. In other news, I`ve recently been banned from making the classroom coffee.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
I was sitting in traffic the other day. That’s probably why I got run over.
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis