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Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.