Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
A recent report shows that people who smoke weed get into 85% fewer car crashes than drunk people. Obviously. It`s a lot easier to see what`s coming when you`re only driving at eleven miles an hour.
Whenever I meet a new girl, I introduce myself by shaking hands with my left hand. I don’t want her to meet her competition right away.
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
It`s only a matter of time until "Security cameras of Wal-Mart" become a hit reality show.