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If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d love to bring a guest.
My sex tape would just be called Home Alone.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
My safe word is "Make sure we don`t go over the hour. That`s all the cash I got on me."
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don`t have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won`t look weird.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch