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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
´s status message is better than yours
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
This post is just for you.
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
They say laughter is the best medicine... found out that`s not true for treating diarrhea.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.