Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
I tried to login on my iPad. Turns out it was an etch-a-sketch and I don`t own an iPad. Also. I`m out of alcohol.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there