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WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don´t know when.
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
It feels like one of them days..... ya know? When you wanna fart and blame the other person for it!
She texted me: "your adorable." I replied: "no, YOU`RE adorable." Now she likes me, but all I did was point out her typo.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.