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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
There’s both a McDonald’s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Some people are like water balloons, they’re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.
Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.