Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
When I say โ€œthe other dayโ€ I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago thereโ€™s no in between.
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
Thereโ€™s both a McDonaldโ€™s and a blood pressure machine in this Walmart. Circle of life.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that`s over with.
Some people are like water balloons, theyโ€™re more fun when you throw them out the window.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
Whoever snuck the s in โ€œfast foodโ€ is a clever person.
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.
Cops never say โ€œthanks for committing crimes and keeping us employedโ€. Itโ€™s just plain selfish.