Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I like it like that
It saddens me to say that after tasting this homemade whiskey/nacho cheese ice cream, I’ve found not all dreams are meant to be followed.
When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.
Adding "and sh!t" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Thanks, autocorrect. I`m sure she`s dying to know about my huge peninsula.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.