Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
My family is missing that gene that tells you when trash cans are full.
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Don`t believe everything you think.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
Dear penis, thanks for not bleeding once a month. Sincerely, every man ever.
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.