Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you`re wondering about my cooking skills, I`ve been asked to bring paper towels to our family gathering.
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
I`ll call it a "smart phone" the day I yell, "Where`s my freaking phone?!" and it answers, "I`m here! Under your jacket!"
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
A party without Vodka is just a meeting.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.