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Just drove past the house where I lost my virginity. There wasn`t even a plaque or anything. Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.
I`ve created a shoe made out of Legos, so when you step on Lego it doesn`t hurt. You just get taller.
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
So if your invited to someone`s 4th marriage is it wrong to give them a gift certificate to a good divorce attorney?
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
wants to rock and roll all night
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling