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I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
I got 99 problems but a least my name aint North West.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
Never underestimate a woman’s ability to make anything your fault.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.