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I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
If your camel toe looks like a elephants hoof, you might want to rethink the yoga pants.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an I-pad
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
it`s friday o clock
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
B!tch Please, your only fan is the one on your ceiling.
Most of life is waiting for whatever you`re at to be over.
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis