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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.
I love the way everyone who uses hand sanitizer looks like they`re hatching some kind of evil plan.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
Okay, I am getting really irritated. This is the 5th ATM I`ve been to today that`s had "insufficient funds".
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
If you see a porcupine in your yard, that`s my cat and we`re not done with our accupuncture session.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!