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They say money can`t buy you happiness, but I`ve got a receipt from the liquor store telling a whole different story.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Last night my wife said to me, β€œWhat would you do without me?” Apparently, β€œYour sister” was the wrong answer.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
A slug is just a divorced snail.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
If you`re ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north.
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)