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Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
My parents never asked me to run away from home, but there were many unexplained one way tickets.
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.