Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I’m forty. I have one.
I hope someone I hate hears their first Christmas song this year in October.
The speed in which a woman says “nothing” when asked “what’s wrong” is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh!tstorm that’s coming.
My inner self is in Photoshop
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. how many fish do you have?? stop counting smart one fish can`t drown