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It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Up to date Girl Scout cookie sales by states: California: 138,000 Boxes Florida: 129,000 Boxes Virginia: 126,000 Boxes Colorado: 8 Million Boxes
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
When you send food back to the kitchen, you`re basically saying, "Can you have the chef rub his genitals on this please."
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.