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Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I`m not an idiot and I know how time travel works.
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..