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I look forward to the day that cell phone technology finally catches up with technology in digital watches and they release a model that is water resistant up to 100 meters.
Taking down my Christmas tree would probably just be a waste of time at this point.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no it´s a gift card. That´s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.