Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you know what would really be fun? ... No really.. If you know, tell me.. I`m bored to death.
Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
I like the part of the day when food happens.
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
Somebody asked for my name today, and when I told them they said "That`s an unusual name. You don`t hear that everyday" to which I replied "Well actually... I do"
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
I want it all and I want it delivered.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.