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Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said `This dumbass put my cape on backwards.`
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity........thats how rich I want to be.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
One of the best uses I`ve ever found for invisible ink is when I signed my marriage license with it.
Girls just wanna have funds.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
No matter how compelling and convincing the other person’s argument is, you can always win a debate by adding “yeah, but still” at the end.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.