Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
You can turn anything into a compliment if you`re delusional enough.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewelry. In my defense, I didn`t even know she sold jewelry.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
I love that little thing that you do...You know, the one where you leave.
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"