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I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask, " Notice anything different?`... works EVERY time
My sister says god`s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, so I bought her a vibrator because she`s obviously never had an orgasm.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.