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How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
50% of people believe s@x is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are guys
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
Have you ever wondered if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles to himself, and says "yeah I made that!"
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.