Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
Alcohol won’t solve your problems, but neither does milk or orange juice.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
I`m just standing here...50 yards away, waiting for the restraining order to expire.
My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.
I`ll bet I`m the only one in this grocery store with "sh!t for tacos" on my shopping list.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"