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You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
For Christmas I just want summer...
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.
I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.