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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Akward Moment Is When Your Twin Sister Calls You Ugly(:
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
To-Do List: Nothing [?]
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.