Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happiness comes from within. That’s why it feels good to fart.
Watching a funny movie after watching a scary one too try to reduce the risk of nightmares.
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I’d like to read a medication bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”
Hold boobs not grudges.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
"You suck! No, you suck!!" - Two women in a threesome