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The worst part about looking for a job is if you`re successful, you end up with a job.
There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics...So glad I found you all.
A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.