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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
I was gonna call you... but I`m still sober.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
The problem with sex in the movies is the popcorn usually spills.
It`s no fun if you have permission.