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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
You see I, I´ve raise a toast to all of us. Who are breakin´ our backs everyday. If wantin´ the good life is such a crime. Lord, then put me away, yeah, here´s to you
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
I’m giving up on the silent treatment. ...Going to start talking to myself again.
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
I`m an optimist. To me, the glass is always half alcohol.
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.