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"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous ... You`re practically begging for typos.
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
There are 3 reasons for ”Liking” someone’s Facebook status: 1. I agree. 2. I realise this is about me, so I’m liking it to rub it in your face. 3. I want to bang you.
The buses don`t go where you live do they.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
When ur mom Calls and u have a party at ur house you; shut up!! Answers phone you; hi mommy!
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
I say the things better left unsaid.
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.